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Wavey's Jokes Corner (May contain nuts)
A Blonde goes to Heaven.
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<blockquote data-quote="Topper" data-source="post: 856020" data-attributes="member: 186250"><p><span style="font-size: 18px">An Aussie blonde was sent on her way to heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">'I'm sorry, 'St Peter said; 'But heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been forced to put up an entrance exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of heavenly arrivals.'</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the entrance exam consist of?'</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">'Just three questions' said St Peter.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">'Which are?' asked the blonde.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year'?</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought .</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">The blonde said, 'Today and tomorrow.'</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!'</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">'Only twelve' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">A short time later, St Peter returned to the blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">'It's Andy.'</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">'Andy?'</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">'Yes, Andy,' said the Blonde.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled.'</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">And the blonde entered heaven.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">and you're singing it now, aren't you?</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Topper, post: 856020, member: 186250"] [SIZE=5]An Aussie blonde was sent on her way to heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry, 'St Peter said; 'But heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been forced to put up an entrance exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of heavenly arrivals.' 'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the entrance exam consist of?' 'Just three questions' said St Peter. 'Which are?' asked the blonde. 'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T'? The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year'? The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?' 'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.' So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought . The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.' 'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?' The blonde said, 'Today and tomorrow.' St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question. 'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?' The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!' 'Only twelve' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?' 'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.' St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head. A short time later, St Peter returned to the blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?' The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.' 'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?' 'It's Andy.' 'Andy?' 'Yes, Andy,' said the Blonde. This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?' 'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled.' And the blonde entered heaven. and you're singing it now, aren't you?[/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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A Blonde goes to Heaven.
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