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<blockquote data-quote="Topper" data-source="post: 1009072" data-attributes="member: 186250">Q:&nbsp; Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can&nbsp; prolong life.&nbsp; Is this true? A: Heart&nbsp; only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste&nbsp; on exercise.&nbsp; Everything wear out eventually.&nbsp; Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like&nbsp; saying you extend life of car by driving faster.&nbsp; Want to live longer?&nbsp; Take nap.Q: Should&nbsp; I reduce my alcohol&nbsp; intake? A:&nbsp; Oh&nbsp; no.&nbsp; Wine made from fruit.&nbsp; Fruit very good. Brandy distilled&nbsp; wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you&nbsp; get even more of goodness that way.&nbsp; Beer also made&nbsp; of grain.&nbsp; Grain good too. Bottom up!Q: How can I&nbsp; calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if&nbsp; you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to&nbsp; one.&nbsp; If you have two body, your ratio two to&nbsp; one.Q: What are some of the advantages of&nbsp; participating in a regular exercise&nbsp; program? A: Can't think of one,&nbsp; sorry.&nbsp; My philosophy: No&nbsp; pain...good! &nbsp;Q:&nbsp; Aren't fried foods bad for&nbsp; you? A:&nbsp; YOU NOT&nbsp; LISTENING!&nbsp; Food fried in vegetable oil.&nbsp; How&nbsp; getting more vegetable be&nbsp; bad?Q&nbsp; : Will&nbsp; sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft&nbsp; around the middle?A:&nbsp; Oh no!&nbsp; When you exercise muscle, it get bigger.&nbsp; You&nbsp; should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger&nbsp; stomach. Q:&nbsp; Is chocolate bad&nbsp; for me? A:&nbsp; You crazy?!?&nbsp; HEL-LO-O!!&nbsp; Cocoa bean!&nbsp; Another&nbsp; vegetable!&nbsp; It best feel-good food&nbsp; around!Q:&nbsp; Is swimming good for your&nbsp; figure? A:&nbsp; If swimming good for&nbsp; figure, explain whale to me.Q:&nbsp; Is&nbsp; getting in shape important for my&nbsp; lifestyle? A:&nbsp; Hey!&nbsp; 'Round' is shape!Well... I hope this has cleared&nbsp; up any misconceptions you may have had about food and&nbsp; diets.And&nbsp; remember: Life&nbsp; should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention&nbsp; of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved&nbsp; body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one&nbsp; hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up,&nbsp; totally worn out and screaming &quot;WOO-HOO, what a&nbsp; ride!!&quot;</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Topper, post: 1009072, member: 186250"] [B]Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? [/B] A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.[B] Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?[/B] A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom up![B] Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? [/B] A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.[B] Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? [/B] A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good! [B]Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?[/B] A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?[B] Q[/B] : [B]Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?[/B] A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach. [B] Q: Is chocolate bad for me? [/B] A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around![B] Q: Is swimming good for your figure? [/B] A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.[B] Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle? [/B] A: Hey! 'Round' is shape! Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: [B]Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"[/B] [/QUOTE]

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