- Joined
- Nov 18, 2004
- Messages
- 24,010
- Reaction score
- 4,024
- Points
- 113
- Age
- 70
- My Satellite Setup
- Has gone to a good home elsewhere
- My Location
- Blackburn, Lancashire
Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, arrives at Passport Control at Athens airport.
"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, not this time........ I am just here for a few days."
Teacher asks Billy; "If you have five sweets and Mohammed asks for one, how many will you have left?"
Billy; "Five"
Wife says to husband, "You only ever want s_x when you're drunk".
Husband says, "that's not true....... Sometimes I want a kebab".
The Irish have joined in the attack on Libya.
They sent in 3 ships.......... 2 full of sand and one full of cement.
It was a mortar attack.
A Geordie and a US aid worker, are helping out in Syria.
The American says, "You from round here, buddy?"
The 'Geordie replies, "No, Newcastle"
"What State's that in?" asks the Yank.
"Pretty much the same state as this place!"
Stephen Hawking went on his first date in 10 years, and when he got back, his glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, a twisted ankle and grazed knees.
Apparently she'd stood him up.
Kate Middleton asked the Queen for advice on marriage and a long relationship.
She replied "Wear a seatbelt and don't piss me off!"
The Chinese government have thanked Britain for the rescue dogs they sent out.
They said they were delicious!
My sexy Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a roger.
It was only when I had my trousers round my ankles, that I realised..... She wanted to rent her spare room out
"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, not this time........ I am just here for a few days."
Teacher asks Billy; "If you have five sweets and Mohammed asks for one, how many will you have left?"
Billy; "Five"
Wife says to husband, "You only ever want s_x when you're drunk".
Husband says, "that's not true....... Sometimes I want a kebab".
The Irish have joined in the attack on Libya.
They sent in 3 ships.......... 2 full of sand and one full of cement.
It was a mortar attack.
A Geordie and a US aid worker, are helping out in Syria.
The American says, "You from round here, buddy?"
The 'Geordie replies, "No, Newcastle"
"What State's that in?" asks the Yank.
"Pretty much the same state as this place!"
Stephen Hawking went on his first date in 10 years, and when he got back, his glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, a twisted ankle and grazed knees.
Apparently she'd stood him up.
Kate Middleton asked the Queen for advice on marriage and a long relationship.
She replied "Wear a seatbelt and don't piss me off!"
The Chinese government have thanked Britain for the rescue dogs they sent out.
They said they were delicious!
My sexy Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a roger.
It was only when I had my trousers round my ankles, that I realised..... She wanted to rent her spare room out
