Slips Of The Tongue

[Topper]

12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on TV and radio

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator
'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator –
'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

3. Pat Glenn, Weightlifting Commentator –
'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria .. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 –
'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.'

5. US PGA Commentator –
'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ........ Oh my god !! What have I just said??'

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said:
'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked,
'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters:
'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:
'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:
'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'

 

[Channel Hopper]

Snow Job

If Groundhog Day had been an 18...

 

[Topper]

Snow Job

If Groundhog Day had been an 18...

30 years ago indeed, the old ones are the best

 

[pgh13]

Verging into Colemanballs territory




“There is Brendan Foster, by himself with 20,000 people.”

“Forest have now lost six matches without winning.”

“The front wheel crosses the finish line, closely followed by the back wheel.”

“And here’s Moses Kiptanui – the 19-year-old Kenyan who turned 20 a few weeks ago.”

“If that had gone in, it would have been a goal.”

“This evening is a very different evening from the morning we had this morning.”

“I think there is no doubt, she’ll probably qualify for the final.”

“Nobody has ever won the title twice before. He (Roger Black) has already done that.”

“Both of the Villa scorers – Withe and Mortimer – were born in Liverpool as was the Villa manager Ron Saunders who was born in Birkenhead.”

"And the line-up for the final of the women's 400 metres hurdles includes three Russians, two East Germans, a Pole, a Swede and a Frenchman."

"We estimate, and this isn't an estimation, that Greta Waltz is 80 seconds behind."

 

[Vipersan]

..and one of my favourites ...being discussed.