From Aaron's Personal Playbook:
How to Make Women Like You
____ This website does not generally promote the fruitless endeavor of trying to make women like you._ Our philosophy is that the socially inept's greatest hope of happiness lies in glorious acceptance of defeat, and the dismissal of any hopes of ever finding a mate.
____ However, this is not good enough for some of you._ You insist on receiving advice on how best to meet and interact with women._ You continue to believe that s_x, and possibly companionship, is a part of your future._ For you, only this once, I will list the methods that I myself employed to lure the ladies in the days before I gave up.
1) While watching a movie with a girl in your apartment, put your arm around her._ When she laughs uncomfortably, pushes your arm off and says, "I can't do this", try to focus on the rest of the movie, and not on what just happened.
2) While at a Seattle Mariners baseball game with a girl, spend the entire game in awkward silence while you try to muster up the courage to hold her hand._ Then, in the bottom of the 9th, rest your trembling hand on hers._ When she responds by telling you she has a boyfriend in Sweden, enjoy the sudden feeling of relief.
3) When an extremely attractive young woman asks you if you want to see her pussy, then shows you a tattoo of a cat right next to her bikini line, wait five years before realizing that she was flirting with you.
4) Sneak into the women's restroom at a local Starbucks._ Write your phone number in the stalls, along with a promise for a good time._ In subsequent weeks, wonder if someone washed your number off of the walls.
5) If you see an extremely attractive woman that you would like to perhaps know a little better, approach her confidently._ Then, order an espresso beverage of your choice._ See if you can get her hand to touch yours when she gives you your change.
6) Get extremely drunk at a party._ If a girl smiles at you, grab her ass instinctively._ When she asks what the hell you are doing, let go of her ass and mumble, "I don't know."_ Then walk away.
7) Drink coffee by yourself for hours on end in a local coffee shop._ Look dark and brooding._ Telepathically beg every girl in the establishment to ask you out._ Go home depressed.
8) Enjoy a tasty dinner with a girl you met through The Stranger personals._ When she asks if you want to go back to her place to get drunk, tell her that wouldn't be a good idea because you need to go to work the next day.
